This is where I am right now –

Well, actually this is Kauai.

Just saying.

So yes, we arrived in paradise early Monday morning.  We were greeted by grey skies and rainy days, but the moisture was a welcome oasis and the grey skies still warmed our Colorado chilled bones.  I would be lying if I said I wasn’t glad to leave the icy weather behind for a brief three weeks.

Christmas silently approaches.  Sneaking up like an overeager child, it pads stealthily till it is just around the corner, while the parents are unaware, gazing at something just past the normal.  But Christmas will be seen and felt, as it is every year.  The day will bring its joy and child-like excitement to hearts old and young.  A day of respite before crazy.  Simple and homemade will be the staples this year.  No surprise, as the coming to paradise itself is enough for many.

But a vacation this is not.  It was never destined to be so and will not change its stars this time.  A test looms large for which there will be much studying and stress.  But as it is not on the radar yet, no stress quite yet.  Studying, yes.  But no stress.

The radar consists of that sneaky little child, and impending nuptials.  The event of the season for this small(ish) community.  A celebration of mutual friends and now family.  Good food and great company for an evening beneath the trees, rejoicing in life, love, and bright futures.  An exciting and quite adventurous time.

For this very odd holiday season on an island in the middle of deep sapphire holds the potential for warm memories and life-altering events for everyone.

Well, on to super short summaries and a look ahead.

Last Wednesday I took my written final for EMT.  This next week we have our NREMT practicals, which do not impact our class grades but are required to be certified.  I have no doubt I’m passing the class, I just hope to come away with an A (93%).  Before the test I was sitting at 93.63% so I could squeak it out!  I’ve really enjoyed the class and am sore to have it stop.  On the other hand I am ready to be certified and begin to practice in the field and gain more experience.  A couple of the more interesting things I’ve learned…

Guys are ridiculous – This class has been enlightening in more ways than one.  My brothers are amazing, but weird.  If my class is a cross-section of the general male population, then my brothers are weird.  Really?  That’s how guys think?  Oh, okay.  Good to know. Guys talk a big talk.  About everything.  Muscles.  Girls.  The gym.  Drinking.  Partying.  You name it, they’ll probably tell a crazy story about it.  I’m not saying guys go about lying about everything, but there are usually…embellishments added.  Whatever, I could care less.  Just something I’ve observed.  Oh, and if you were to listen to them (this falls under the ‘embellishment’ category) girls need to be physically perfect or we’re not worth their time.  This is the view you assume when we become nothing more than something to bang.

Good leadership often depends, not on yourself, but on the people under you – For our MCI (multiple-casualty incident) I was second-in-charge.  On our org chart (military, anybody?) that meant I was directly in charge of everybody (except for the person above me).  I was the information point for all the section leaders under me.  What an experience!  Loved it!  Loved being in the situation, making mistakes, figuring what worked and what didn’t.  Loved the pressure (perceived as it was), pulling things together and doing it!  But as good as I “led”, it meant nothing if the people under me didn’t do their jobs.  You can’t lead if there’s nothing to lead.  I like the phrase, “Giving them to opportunity to succeed,” and that’s what my job became.  Really good experience.

EMS and Fire are tight – On my ride-alongs with AMR the thing I enjoyed seeing the most of the community between these EMS people.  It’s this crazy job that’s the basis for many a TV show, but for the EMTs and Paramedics on the job, it’s just that, their job.  There’s no glamor or glory.  It’s just their job.  Simple as that.  And these people who they spend 12 hours sitting next to, understand that.  It’s kinda crazy to wrap your mind around.

A couple other things: 1) Nobody likes dispatch.  Everyone thinks dispatch is out for them.  I’m pretty sure it’s universal.

2) I will now always let an EMS person ahead of me in line.  Chances are they still won’t get their food, drink, etc.  But I will acknowledge that I understand and let them ahead of me.

See, this is getting really long and I’m still thinking of things I could say.  But I will stop.

In the next couple of weeks it’s gonna be crazy!

Practicals next week

Leaving for the wedding in two weeks

Wedding in four weeks

NREMT written in five weeks (maybe)

Volunteering for Black Forest and Falcon Fire Departments (at least applying to volunteer)

I’m super excited for what’s to come and I’m ready to start!  Yay!

–

           Pride is necessary to life as it motivates and calls to something better.  It is not content with good enough because it strives for the best.  Pride rooted in reality looks at a situation for what it is, looks at itself and what it can do, and puts the two together to achieve something greater than the sum of the parts.  Pride not rooted in reality becomes a stumbling block as it blinds its user to reality and his own faults.  Faults seen are easily dealt with and corrected in the strive to be better; there is no disgrace in these faults.  But when pride becomes bigger than its user, it controls them and causes them to unknowingly self-destruct, fulfilling the proverb, “Pride goes before destruction” (The Holy Bible. Prov. 16.18).   The obvious antonym to this form of pride is the word humility; however, in the world of true pride, humility becomes a synonym.  Humility continues the process of self-examination as much as pride begins it.  Beware the fine line of humility, pride rooted in reality, and the arrogant pride of false humility not rooted in reality which leads down into that same self-destructive spiral.

            While the majority of people define pride as a negative trait, pride in its purest form is extremely positive as it allows for critical self-examination and positive change. Without some form of pride, people risk personal stagnation.  Dictionary.com defines pride as, “a high or inordinate opinion of one’s own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc”(“Pride”).  This narrow definition reflects the negative connotation the word ‘pride’ has received.  The negative connotation misplaces and regulates pride to a dreadful grievance resulting in disdain and hatred from honest people.  This is incorrect. Pride comes in knowing one’s self.  According to one definition it is a, “proper sense of own value; the correct level of respect for the importance and value of your personal character, life, efforts, or achievements” (Encarta. “Pride”). Without this awareness, one cannot possibly expect to change, adapt or improve their character, attitude and actions.  Pride rooted in reality accomplishes this without endangering the user.  It allows itself to be questioned and evaluated because it understands the continuous process of learning and self-improvement.

            Is that not the very definition of humbleness? To be “conscious of one’s failings” (“Humble”)?  Humility and the lack of humility are nebulous beings, taking many different forms, accomplishing many different ends.  Without humility, pride strives to be better only to be stopped by the arrogance of not acknowledging its faults and limitations.  This form of pride results in a person who demands perfection from himself, and will continuously strive for this impossible ideal.  These people show extreme arrogance, not listening to advice.  Although excellent at what they do, they eventually isolate themselves from any form of feedback or critique.  Humbleness is also defined as, “having a feeling of insignificance, inferiority, subservience, etc” (“Humbleness”).  Many times this humility can grow till it becomes a form of pride in itself.  In Screwtape Letters, C.S. Lewis expresses this concept in the form of a devil’s suggestion, “Catch him at the moment when he is really poor in spirit and smuggle into his mind the gratifying reflection, ‘By jove! I’m being humble’, and almost immediately pride — pride at his own humility — will appear” (Lewis. Wikiquote.).  Many times this humility creeps in subtlety, making it even more dangerous than blatant arrogance.  People who possess this form of pride – false humility – get caught in a downward spiral which does not allow for improvement as it wallows in mediocrity and grows to be a self-fulfilling prophecy.  While these two forms of pride are negative, with appropriate humility, pride allows critical examination and positive progress towards a better end.

            Pride rooted in reality juxtaposes the prideful strive to become better with the humility to acknowledge and correct any faults found along the way.  Pride knows one’s self, while humility knows one’s faults.  Situations that require critical thinking and talent to solve necessitate a pride that knows itself, what it can accomplish, and ultimately its limitations.  This mindset requires humility for without it the user, the situation, and anyone involved risk catastrophic failure.  For a businessman to be successful he must have a pride in his work and a pride that does not settle for good enough; along with the humility to correct his mistakes and learn from those better than him.  For a search and rescue team to be effective, the members of the team must have pride above and beyond the average citizen, but also the wisdom of humility to consider a situation and realize their human limitations.  Any life situation encountered involves this struggle between true pride and humility.  Understanding true pride and humility allow the person to use both effectively toward a better self, life and environment.

              Human nature struggles with this relationship as it would prefer to run with whatever thought or emotion that arises in the moment.  As such, this alliance between pride, humility and the human nature tiptoes a very fine line.  Pride is not always negative as humility is not always positive.  Pride rooted in reality and humility as its synonym allow for life lived to the fullest, permitting mistakes as a part of the process of changing, adapting and improving itself and its environment.  Without humility there would be nothing to improve.  Without pride there would be no desire to improve.  Both are necessary to life.

Works Cited

“Humble.” Collinslanguage.com. HarperCollins Publishers Ltd, 2011. Web. 9 October 2011

“Humbleness.” Dictionary.com. Dictionary.com, 2011. Web. 9 October 2011.

 Lewis, C.S. “Screwtape Letters.” Wikiquote.org. Wikipedia. 29 August 2011. Web. 11 October 2011.

 “Pride.” Dictionary.com. Dictionary.com, 2011. Web. 9 October 2011.

“Pride.” Encarta Dictionary: English (North America.). Microsoft Word, 2007. Computer Software. 9 October 2011.

The Holy Bible (English Standard Version). Wheaton, Illinois: Crossway Bibles, 2007. Electronic.

Anyway, let’s play a number game (well, not really a “game” more like I tell you something in a creative/semi-creative way).  It’s been 8 weeks since school started — 1 week since softball ended — 5 days since I started my wrestling match with the military healthcare system — 1 day since I signed up for clinicals — 4-1/2 weeks till my first ER shift — 6 weeks till Thanksgiving! — 7 weeks till Final — 8 weeks till Practical — and 9 weeks till we leave for Hawaii!  When you say it like that it makes it sound much sooner…

This isn't my actual calender -- This one's too pretty.

I know I left everyone on the edge of their seats with that, “Check back soon!” nonsense.  Did I?  Even just a little bit?  Humor me.

Well, way back when I wrote that post I miscounted (see theme) till I would be doing what I was doing yesterday — signing up for clinicals.  See clinicals are like the crunch time, the make it or break it, the buck stops here, the true determiner of whether or not you can make it in the business (Well, that and passing the class, final, practical, and national written, but eh, who’s keeping track?)  And I’ve been looking forward to this since class started.  So yesterday I find myself frozen with planner in hand, petrified I will make a wrong decision about shift days and times.  What if no one gets hurt?  What if all I see are over-protective moms bringing in their snot-nosed kids?  What if they hate me? What if I’m an idiot and schedule myself right before a big assignment is due (hence planner, but it still crossed my mind)? etc… You get my drift.  Conquering my overwhelming fears, I signed up for two shifts, a morning (0700-1500) and a day (1500-2300) a week apart in November.  I didn’t completely conquer my fears, however, because I’m still nervous I made the wrong decision.  But nervousness is good.  Right?  For 16 hours I get to shadow some person around in the ER and watch, learn and help when I can.  I’ve been in enough ERs to know what basically happens so I’m pretty excited (even about the snot-nosed kids).

That was my big announcement, I hope you guys are satisfied.  If you aren’t…sorry.

More to come later this week about a really interesting concept I’m wrestling through for a paper!

For starters. I’M TIRED OF BEING SICK!!  Okay, that’s out of the way.  I think I’m going on almost week two of the cold that won’t let go.  It’s quite frustrating, especially now that it’s not bad enough to be couch-ridden and watch movies all day, but still bad enough that I worry about lip-drying effect of having to breathe through my nose all night.  And the cough.  It’s gone from slight, end-of-cold cough, to annoying tickle-in-the-back-of-your-thoat hacking, to productive, phlegm coughing to, finally, the dry tickle it is right now.  Yay.  Maybe I’ll blame it on the changing weather

So far I have nine of the twenty sets of vital signs I need for my EMT class.  It’s curious how many people giggle when you tell them to look straight at you to check their pupils.  Is there something I’m missing?  And please, there is a difference between touching somebody for a medical purpose, i.e. breath sounds, skin temp, respirations, and just touching somebody.  I would never dream of coming up to a random guy and putting my hands on his chest, wrist and forehead, but when taking vitals I don’t even think about it.  But I notice, especially when guys are examining girls, they usually leave the listening for breath sounds at the front (chest) till last.  Just do it.  I’m not going to bite you.  Oh well.

Blood pressure.  I’m learning by trial and error that I can trust my gut when I think I’m hearing something.  I was taking BP on someone and it was low, so low I was convinced I was wrong, but when I palpated the BP it came back exactly what I had heard.  So, I think I’m better at this than I think I am.  Although, I still need to do a bunch more before I feel comfortable.

This is an incorrect method as your thumb has its own pulse and you can hear that pulse through your stethoscope instead of the one your listening for...bad file picture.

Okay, this post is getting boring…Sorry.  I was all excited to sit down and write something out, but now I can’t remember what I was so excited about?

The next post won’t be two weeks from now.  I promise.  Mostly because I know that in the next week things will be happening that are very exciting Stay tuned!

Random fact of the week:  A BP cuff is also know as a sphygmomanometer.  That’s right.

Quick update — Classes are going well, aside from being very time consuming.  I am continuing to be affirmed in my direction of EMT.  The class is super interesting and I already see myself using what I’m learning in everyday life.  My english class is an english class.  I have a really good teacher, which makes it so much more fun (much more?). 

My softball team is…interesting   You know that team? The one every league has? Well, we’re that team.  Ninety percent of our girls haven’t ever played before, so we’re starting from square one.  It’s a blast, just, again, very time consuming.  We only lost our last game by four runs!

Prayers:  For my back.  For whatever reason the last couple weeks my lower back has been hurting quite a bit.  Whenever I move, bend over, lean, pick something up, sit down, stand up, e.g. do anything — it hurts.  I don’t know what it is, what I did, etc.  But just some prayer for it would be appreciated

You know how you always want to get to the DMV at least fifteen minutes before the doors open?  Well, it’s similar when you’re getting your fingerprints taken at the police department.  The fingerprint office opens at eight but because the police department never closes (makes sense) you can get there early and just wait.  I settled for the cliché fifteen minutes and pulled in at 7:47am.  I pulled out again, fingerprinted card in hand at 8:55am.  Not bad, by DMV standards.  My next stop was the school’s HR office to turn in the fingerprints and be cleared to work with the kids. However, as I pulled into the parking lot twenty minutes later I realized that the nice fingerprint lady who helped me this morning neglected to sign, thereby officially authorizing the fingerprints.  Two options were presented to me, submit the card and it be rejected and I have to make another trip, or me make another trip now and then submit the card.  I made the trip.  So, an hour and a half later I left the school with all my i’s dotted and my t’s crossed and an official volunteer.

At practice later I got to meet the head coach, Stacy, and the girls, all thirteen of them.  They range in skill level from first timers to veterans (as veteran as you can get in junior high).  It was neat to get to know them and observe how each of their personalities will mesh into a cohesive team.  Coaching was pretty simple and a lot of fun.  I can’t wait to get further with them and push them to be better.  Stacy’s really cool and I think we’ll work well together.  Just trying to figure out HOW we will work together right now.

All in all a day that started with frustration and ended with anticipation

PS After a year and a half of not even thinking about my softball equipment I was pretty impressed I was able to round everything up…except for my glove.  Which I had left at camp.  A year and a half ago.  But Makalie is a dear and was able to locate it in the extra gloves bin.  It’s coming home!

 My poor lost baby

About a week ago I applied to be head coach of a junior high softball team.  After I stopped playing, I always wanted to get back in and try my hand at coaching.  This job seemed a pretty big leap from passing interest to head coach, in-charge-of-everything, but I applied anyway.  The job had been up for seven months, so I figured if they might be desperate enough to look past my obvious lack of coaching experience and take a chance.  And I believe they would have, had my EMT class (read on) not been a conflict.  Did you know that junior high girls don’t play on the weekends?  I didn’t know that.  But they don’t (do?).  So, no head coach (a secret sigh of relief) but the opportunity to volunteer as an assistant coach and help build a program from the ground up!  I have yet to meet my head coach but I believe she has as much experience as me, so we should make a good pair, muddling through our first year together.  It’s junior high!  How hard could it be?  Anyway, practices start tomorrow.  And I am really excited.

“What are you studying?”  If I had a dollar for every time I have been asked that question in the last two weeks, I’d…I’d have a lot of dollars.

So, here is the rundown for the next semester and maybe a little beyond.

EMT-B — This semester I am taking an EMT-Basic course through the Pikes Peak Community College.  At the end of the fifteen week semester I will be able to be nationally certified as an EMT-B.  I will go through nine hours of lecture a week along with an undetermined amount of time spent doing clinicals.  At least one eight-hour ER shift and one twelve-hour ambulance shift.  I have been advised, however, to take advantage of the clinicals and get as many hours as possible, which I will be doing.

English Composition 1 — Yes, I am taking freshman comp in the second semester of my sophmore year.  I have successfully avoided it till now, but it must be done.  And I really don’t want to be taking it my junior year, yech.  I will be taking it from the same professor as my little brother.  Another weird aspect.  But, he enabled CJ to love writing and as most of his writing is done in-class, it will work out well with my fast-filling schedule.

So that’s it!  That is the extent of my college life this semester.  These two classes, however, amount to a full-time 13 credit load.  And with my part-time job and my part-time volunteering, it’s gonna be good.

This is kinda what I feel like I'm doing this semester.

Prejudice

“an unfavorable opinion or feeling formed beforehand or without knowledge, thought, or reason.”

Prejudice is pervasive.  It invades how a person or a culture thinks or acts.  The most horrid prejudice is in regards to skill.  Believing someone can or cannot do something simply on the basis of their skin color or eye shape, or worse, how you think it will make YOU look, demonstrates a hateful bigotry from which no one is safe. Prejudice was no more evident than during the 60’s and integration.

My father grew up in Opelika, Alabama during the sixties with his father, mother and younger brother.  My father loved and still loves to play baseball.  Every Saturday he and my uncle would be out on the field playing Little League baseball rain or shine.  The smell of worn leather, fresh cut grass, and dirt were a signal to them that they had come home.  Many a memory were made on those fields.  Some he still shares today, remembering with a smile and a laugh.  My grandfather also shared his boys’ love for the All-American pastime, and when Granddaddy loved something he got involved.  So my father and uncle were coached by their Dad for many a year in the fine art of baseball.  Granddaddy was a huge influence on the game during that time and on my dad and uncle’s point of view of the changing times.

Granddaddy’s influence extended not just to the skills of fundamentals of baseball, but, like every great coach, he taught on life and demonstrated that in a very real way to his players.  During the 1960’s integration was barely getting started and just because the government said the blacks were equal and should be treated as such, didn’t mean hearts and attitudes jumped right on board.  How people perceive things and how they live life is hardly ever changed by a decree or manifest.  Nowhere was that more clear than in Little League baseball in Opelika, Alabama.

Baseball was more than a game to Granddaddy.  He considered these boys as a little piece of the future that he could affect and he loved them.  Black, white, yellow, brown, skinny, fat, tall, short, Granddaddy gave them all a chance to share in his love for baseball and life in general.  However the other coaches didn’t see it that way.  Blacks were beginning to want to play in Little League baseball, and although the government said to, they were not going to let those “boys” play on their teams.  Granddaddy took one look at those young men, watched them play and immediately brought them onto his team, saying simply, “I need a shortstop and he can play.”

Granddaddy didn’t care about image or color, if those boys wanted to play baseball and they had the heart too; he believed they should play, and gave them that opportunity.  He saw that there was nothing different about that little boy’s love for baseball just because he was brown or black.  And he needed a shortstop!  Granddaddy’s mindset was not the norm in the South during the sixties, but there were people like him and they, I believe, were instrumental in changing the South’s mindset and eventually the nation’s.  Granddaddy wasn’t important or influential in Opelika, Alabama, he was just a little league coach who decided to not let perfectly capable and willing young men be excluded and thrown aside simply because of selfish image and naïve prejudice.  One decision made by one man that is still having an impact two generations later.

“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.”

“Volunteer Blue” catchy, eh?  It’s just as it sounds, I am currently volunteering for the CSPD and learning my way around a police station.  Whether or not that’s a good thing is yet to be decided   I’m enjoying learning lots of new things, including what all the different codes mean, where police officers on the South side hang out and how to spot different drug highs.  It’s the little things you know.

School this semester promises to be chock full of other little tidbits of that nature.  With 12 credits hours between four classes, I’m learning what the term “full-time student” really means.  Criminal justice classes are a novelty in themselves.  Usually you have 20 to 24 students between 16 and 25 years of age, who, most of the time, think that they are pretty swell at this whole “whodunnit” thing.  I mean, I got, like, the high score on that online USANetwork super spy game!!  And you can tell the ones that think they know a lot because usually they’re the ones who can’t seem to shut up about all the things they think they know!  While I know that those people are in every college class, criminal justice classes provide unique opportunities for them to express their vast knowledge…even if they don’t actually have any.

Four classes –>

- Criminal Investigation 1

- Police Photography

- Constitutional Law

- Human Relations & Social Conflict

I’m actually looking forward to really getting into these classes, so more to come!

My other job is that of a yogurista!  No, I’m not kidding, it’s the actual job title.  By hey, I have a job!  Mom regularly peruses cragslist for part-time jobs and this one came up about a week ago.  It’s a brand-new, frozen yogurt, self-serve, all you can eat toppings sort of place opening up in Colorado Springs.  They were having a job fair so I decided to go.  Two days later I was hired part-time at iTopit!  I’m really excited to have a paying job so I can save money for a trip to Hawaii this summer and help pay for all the gas I’m using.  Training starts this week with the grand-opening sometime in the next couple of weeks!  More to come on that as well.

So, a lot of fun things going on and we’ll see how this revamped blog thing works out!